One sentence that transforms listening into understanding

Photo by Robbie Weaver on Unsplash

I think one of the most useful things we can meditate on as we listen to anyone, especially anyone suffering, is to hold this statement of fact front of mind:

I have no idea...

Ø     what it’s like to be them

Ø     what it’s like to live their life

Ø     what they in themselves are going through

Ø     how their fears manifest

Ø     how exactly they are driven

Ø     why they might be legitimately offended and what over

Ø     what are their barriers and solutions 

Ø     how they see God and why

Ø     when or how they might be relieved

This list runs on. No matter how close we are to the other person we ought to have the thought of our inherent ignorance at the very front of our minds. We cannot know them as we would wish to know them. And this is a thoroughly good and trustworthy thing.

We may feel that this might defeat our hope
of helping them,
but unless our hope of helping them is defeated
we cannot help them.

We must trust that God will use us by His Spirit to the extent that we crave no credit. We say we want all glory to go to God, but we must go a step further and relinquish ourselves.

When we enter a conversation with someone with the statement ‘I have no idea’:

Ø     we encounter them with the humility needed to be ready to be used by the Holy Spirit

Ø     we appear to them, and actually are, more interested, curious, concerned, and discerning

Ø     we offer them a kind of interaction they may rarely if ever have experienced — where they encounter a God-person who is able to provide for them a mirror through which to view their own soul

In our busy lives, hurried by the circumstances and stresses that impinge us, we may find we have less mental and emotional range to truly listen to people. Yet people need it. People crave engagement and for just one person to be interested enough to listen and understand. We can be that one person. Oh, and how God may intercede for us in that space!

Encountering a person with a mindset of ‘I have no idea’ is the best way of being so attentive that, even in a short time, deep trust and respect are transacted. They see respect and find us easy to trust. And we wouldn’t want to betray that trust, so we keep listening in the ‘I have no idea’ way. We see God working, living and active, in the listening.

When it comes to others, we think we know, but we don’t. The moment we believe we know, we’re most in danger of missing the moment completely. But when we don’t know, we’re on the path to understanding. There is such humble power in unknowing.

Assuming we don’t know is the only safe assumption to make. This way we listen with the motive of true otherness.